The word ‘resilience’ has been banded around a lot in the last eleven months.
The stiff upper lip mentality of the Brits is to show resilience in the face of adversity.
But with every additional lockdown and school closure extension, we’re having to dig deeper and deeper into those resilience reserves.
According to the NHS, ‘The word resilience refers to our bounce-backability in the face of difficulty or challenge [and] is the ability to adapt and grow following adversity.’
At the height of the pandemic, British writer Damian Barr said: ‘We are not all in the same boat. We are all in the same storm. Some are on super-yachts. Some have just the one oar.’
Rather than letting traumatic events overcome them, resilient people change perspective, develop coping strategies and embrace change. So, how can you build up your resilience no matter what the size of your boat?
Karlin Sloan is a resilience expert, entrepreneur, leadership coach and author. She believes that resilience can be taught and nurtured and that we all need it to survive these challenging times.
‘To me, resilience is taking any circumstance that comes to us, even the worst of them, and using it to learn and grow,’ she says. ‘We are all naturally resilient and research shows that 70 per cent of our resilience is hard-wired into us.
‘This means we are adaptive creatures who learn, change, and flex with circumstances. Those of us who cultivate our flexibility are better prepared for the world we inhabit, which is full of change throughout our lifetimes.’
According to Karlin, we all possess different strengths to help us weather a storm, but flexibility towards the situation is key to building resilience. ‘I am a big fan of the work of Carol Dweck, who wrote a book called Mindset. She says we can adopt one of two mindsets, a “fixed” mindset or a “growth” mindset.
‘If we stay with a fixed mindset it’s easy to believe nothing will change and that what we’re going through is a tribulation we need to get through before we can move on. If we adopt a growth mindset we try to find benefit in whatever situation we find ourselves in, no matter how difficult.’
We’re all suffering from pandemic fatigue, so it might be hard to think of ways to get into that growth mindset right now. However, Karlin says that not only is resilience good for your wellbeing but it can push you towards bigger life goals.
‘Resilience enables us to not just get through trying times, but to grow, learn and develop from them. We can use these experiences to stretch ourselves and develop aspects of ourselves we want to cultivate like patience or compassion.
‘If you’re consistently focusing on/discussing what’s wrong, what’s impossible/difficult, we broaden and build those emotions. If we focus on what’s possible/good and what we’re grateful for, we’ll broaden and build those. Which one would you choose?’
How resilient are you? Take our quick quiz to find out…
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Karlin’s five ways to build resilience
1. Look after YOU first
Our own self-care is critical. Take daily exercise, meditate, read something uplifting or listen to music that feeds your soul. If you’re not practicing those basics, you’ve got work to do.
2. List what is going right and shift your focus to those things
During challenging times, we focus on things that reinforce our fear and uncertainty. What we focus on and prioritise broadens and builds, so what will you focus on today?
3. Difficulties make you stronger
Is there anyone or anything in your life that has challenged, abused, angered or vexed you? Give thanks for what you have learnt, how you’ve grown, or what you’ve been pushed to do because of them. This can be confronting and difficult, but it helps us to develop a more resilient and growth-focused mindset.
4. Be kind and help others
When you’re feeling hopeless, help someone who needs it. This can be offering your support to a colleague or talking to someone who’s lonely. Volunteer if you have time. Donate if you have resources. Do what feels good and pat yourself on the back because it’s good to do good!
5. Reframe situations positively
The more you focus on telling stories of growth and positivity, the more access you’ll have to your own resilience. Think of something that’s been difficult for you lately. Start small, with something in your personal sphere versus the larger world. Apply an optimistic style by focusing on what’s happening as a temporary, isolated event that you will transcend. Once you’ve mastered that, your bounce back will increase exponentially.
■ inspiringleadership.io
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